I am boring because...

Everybody keeps on asking me the same question, why am I so boring? I haven't done any course in this department, but still I can compete with the best of the bests.

People call me all the time and ask the same question... wats new, wats up and wats happening ! I just feel so glad that they expect me to be new and happening. But I also feel sad that I can't match up to their expectations of new and happening. It is the learned helplessness syndrome [psycho!] that I have to encounter, where no matter what I say, they would retort with the same rhetoric "You are boring!".

And suddenly I feel a deep sense of compunction towards their utter disbelief that it is them who have turned boring! They want to hear something new, and when I tell them about the current affairs in India's diplomatic relations, again the same rant...You are boring! It is this incessant ranting that has led me to deliberate on this nugatory topic....Why am I so boring? ( Also, because I am free these days :P)

In the hindsight, I was never this boring. During my childhood, I used to sit all day on the window and watch the cycles pass by my house. I used to dig a hole whole day and then again fill it up. And yet, I never felt bored. I guess people didn't call me then to tell me that. This means that I wasn't born one, but I have been turned into a bore.

I remember my very first acquaintance with boredom....that was school. The soporific methods of teaching, the punishments that involved jotting the same answer 20 times, mugging up the answers even in social sciences, and the insipid manner of teaching poetry...They taught me to suck the creativity and amusement out of any activity!

Still, I managed to pass through it, thanks to the movies of Shahrukh khan (pun intended!) which helped me to develop this parallel universe in which my college life would be 'happening'!! "Kuch kuch hota hai" and "Main hoon na" made me believe that as soon as 'boring school' ends we will enter the gateway of 'happening college' (kuch kuch nahi bhi to kuch to hoga :P).

I guess this new found definition of "happening" made me even more boring when I saw that Shahrukh Khan was not there. My "Happening college" had a huge entrance; and the gate would open; and a huge building would stand in front of me; with lots of girls wearing red, green and yellow colors, adorned with absurd accessories waiting around so that the gate would open and I would enter wearing a kool denim and shades ....and we all would dance!. But alas! there was no huge entrance gate, they asked me to provide identity card; there was no huge building standing, I had to walk 1.5 km into the woods to reach a deserted building; there was no one... not to talk of girls ..not even guys. All I could see was skinny guys moving around like zombies in there bland t-shirts and thick spects. I hate Shahrukh :P. He is a liar (I used Fair and Handsome and wat do u expect after listening to him! )

College education further took away the fun out of maths, the epsilons and deltas, the differential equations and the approximations decimated my imagination! Moreover, there was no Sushmita sen to teach me :P. Had she been there, I would have shown to the department that I can also wear ironed clothes and I can also take shower.
Most of the time discussions would start with "kya boring hai yaar...kuch karte hain", and some sort of Pygmalion effect must have occurred !!

These were the days when I was exposed to a whole new world of boring people. They call this world - Orkut. People who would wait a day to get the answer to "aur be...kya haal chaal" and they would preserve the answer into some unknown servers just so that one day their grandchildren can read up to their legacy and be proud that their forefathers had a record number of scraps. Suddenly, sitting peerless on the computer, changing the profiles, joining communities just to look kool became fad. This made the parties and hangouts even more boring and they were turned into photo sessions just to put a kool pic on the damn orkut! I just don't get it that why would a bunch of losers take a snap and put it on orkut, and the same group members would comment on it and would find it kool :B. I guess I get it now...because its a group of losers!

But leaving orkut doesn't help, as boredom finds its own ways to corrupt your life. There is this instrument called cellphone. The boring sms shayaris about dil, dosti etc. divided my kool quotient by infinity. People have started putting boring songs as there caller tunes, I don't get it again why a loser would call someone to listen a song :P. I guess I get it now....because he is a loser!!

I guess I have added enough reasons and bored you enough to prove the point that I am not boring, its environment these days. Look at the TV, there is boring media with boring news channels, boring serials, boring movies ...we are filling the world with boredom. If climate change does not, boredom will kill.

Now I don't get why would a loser think so deep into it, and write a boring blog about a boring topic which nobody is going to read. I guess I get it now :)

Not because he is a loser....its because he is bored !!

So here I am ...On the road again...

To all the followers of my blog [which I hope will someday be counted in double digits] .. salaam!!
After a hectic and the most purposeful year of my life...I am again back to square one...

This blog is about one of the most memorable..[i guess..inspirational] instances of my life.

I used to go to coaching center by the bus. Standing on the bus stop used to be one of the most thoughtful moments of my day as I planned in real time what has to be done to win this world..... 3 hrs for strength of materials, 2 hrs for general studies, newspaper can be finished in bus itself and then suddenly the bus comes. This is the moment when you just forget all your worries, emotions and planning. It feels like your first love , emerging from the crowds, honking just for you :P, sweetly meandering in an elegant gait and you just want to 'hop on' ;) So after much of hustling I managed to secure a window seat. I like sitting here even-though you have to inhale 250 grams of pure Delhi earth, but who cares.. you get to see all the beautiful ladies standing on the bus stops.

Lets come to the scene which I was talking about...
As our bus moved, I saw a man on a bicycle...and his wife sitting behind him. What intrigued me was that the lady was holding a mobile phone on the ear of the rider, her beloved. And suddenly all those stories of 'connecting India' came to my mind, how has the mobile changed the lives, now people need to be on the phone even while riding. Maybe, it was so because we always see posters asking us not to talk on phone while driving, and not riding. It looked like he was continuously receiving signals from the traffic controllers. [Wouldn't that be cool, its like piloting a cycle, continuously monitoring the load at both the pedals and then transmitting the signals with the device in the hand of co-pilot who is right behind you].

And then I donned the didactic garb and thought about when will these people learn civic sense, these people are the sole cause of road accidents, these pricks cause the traffic and what not? I mean why the hell can he not stop over, have a nice talk and then again ride?
I don't know why was I even bothered.

Then our bus overtook them and now I could see him front. I saw him smiling blissfully, it expressed nothing but contentment. And my thoughts were in a state of abeyance. Maybe, I just couldn't deal with the multitudes of emotions that I experienced when I saw that the man had only one hand ....
My bus was speeding away... his view blurred...as it got deeply etched into my thoughts...

This again made me ruminate over the classic question ...."What made him so happy?"...maybe future dream...or perhaps his past...or maybe the people around him...his loving consort...i guess he had enough hope to keep him happy...and I sulked into the thought...if only I knew....

they stole it!!

Orkut stole my "crap" idea posted on my last blog ;) just saw it today,29th june ...maybe i should sue them for stealing Intellectual property ...

orkutbaji

This keeps coming to me intermittently. Lately, everyone is so much addicted to orkut, I pondered over, what could be the reason that two persons who don't even say hi to each other, who don't even acknowledge the social presence of each other when placed in a group count themselves as fans of each other. Before going further, let me say that I love orkut ;)

Why do I love orkut?

I don't have to actually talk over length with a person whom I don't want to, yet I can constantly show him my presence. I can make him feel important by writing a few simple words ...saale kabhi to scrap kar liya kar !!" or "long time ...how have you been.." . This is a very fantastic way to keep in touch with even those whom I don't care at all because god knows.... someday I will need his/her help ...then you can always go and say...."I have always been your fan...don't believe it ...check our your fan list!!"

I think it is a big success because it helps to let out perverse emotions which are normally subdued by the social interceptions. I can slap anyone now !! ... can't do it in real life ...do it on orkut! ...Its fantasy land for me.
I guess many more of such facilities can be provided .. I have always wanted to tease girls... Someday orkut will help me to blow a whistle at chick...and she will hit me with her sandals...that too .. just with a click of mouse!!...maybe there will be lots of automated ludicrous, filthy, vile and degrading comments generally made by roadside romeos which will be at your dispersal...use them at your own risk!!
I would also like to throw turd at some one!! ..oh! this is the dream of many...throwing slimeballs at some face ...this can be a huge mass-appealing utility....no wonder orkut will use it in their publicity campaign...

I have got some more..will add up when I get time.... till then ...keep orkutting!!

Vipul

On a serious note...I have got a disclaimer..
These are views of the writer and they shall not be developed into business by any social networking site!!

banking on relationships!!

So as I was sitting alone, waiting for the digital numeric display to show the magical sparkling number which I had received from the automated number generating machine in the SBI, branch: IIT powai. I was just amazed by the happiness on the faces of people that suffuses in the form of a glow, when the machine scintillates their number, as if they really tried hard to come before us, and they have been rewarded by the bank authorities who would address their concerns prior to us.
They just stand up looking at every other person with the condescending gleam in their eyes, after all they are the chosen ones!!

Ohk...let me not digress from what I actually wanted to share!!
So as I sit alone, watching intermittently on the walls (its the best way to pass time!) ...
I happen to notice lots of similarities between the various services offered and the so called "healthy" relationships between opposite sexes!!
Let me explicate with corroborative examples, my infallible theories !!

Now from a girl's perspective [this counts as an assumption based on past keen observations however the scope of study may be question as the data set of girls taken would be very small...you know why !!....its me who is talking :P :( ], the guys would be classified as follows:

1) Fixed deposits : These form the major portion of the quantities, they are not more than mere acquaintances whom they would talk not more than once in life, that too would be a banal discussion like career!! ... the talks would end in common rhetorics like 'keep in touch'!! and this would be the opening account just like a fixed deposit where you have to touch the papers only while opening and then it goes in forever !! however the account here keeps thinking that someday the girl will come to see and take him along after acknowledging his maturity...

2) Second type are the friends!! who are typically defined by one quick answer when asked about them... "We are just friends...nothing more". They don't need constant attention, their calls can be left unanswered...they can be ignored at whims. They just dwell on a monthly 'hi!' ...all the misgivings and neglect towards them is commensurable with a simple sorry with a smile :) ...and you are good all again!! These are what I would call ''recurring deposits''.

3) Then comes the boyfriend. He is the ATM card...a revolutionary form of cash that allows customers to access their bank account around the clock, around the world. You just have to fill the money in the bank account in form of sweet talks.

4) Then there are best friends!! there plight is the worst. They would perform each and every task from taking the girl's pet for a stroll, completing her assignments, making her projects listening to her boring relationship problems, even dropping her from college to her boyfriends'.
These sorry people are the credit cards of girls life. They just work round the clock giving and giving to the customer and in the end costumer doesn't even repay the debt and changes on to another bank's credit card!

hmm.... i guess enough crap has been added today....'m loving it !!

top 5 reasons to marry an iitian

1) They will be successful. You can be the woman behind that successful man.

2) You can be sure that no other women will be seeing your husband !!

3) Most probably, you will be the first woman in their lives.

4) By pretending to never have a mind, it is trivial to get your IITian husband to say never mind.

5) you wont have to cook a delicious meal or setup a candle light dinner to reach his heart...you can win your man by saying "Oh my! Calculus is so easy for you" :P :P :P

top 5 reasons not to date IITian guys

1) They won't notice the change in your hairstyle, wont appreciate your dressing sense...you have clothes on you, combed your hair, works fine!!

2) Dates will be pretty much like interviews in which they will keep on diversifying your portfolio, or they will keep blabbering about counter strike, linux and other crap you wont have any idea about

3) They will be enjoying more playing minesweeper than talking to you on the phone.

4) You cannot make them look different from a paleolithic man.

5) who dates a nerd !!